Meet Your Doula: Introducing Tenáj

Hey there, lovely readers!

I'm thrilled to reconnect with you all after a year and a half away from my doula work. I had to step away from my doula practice due to the unexpected loss of my mom. It was a challenging time, and I took this break to heal and support my loved ones.

During this period of reflection, I realized how much I missed being a part of the incredible journey of childbirth and providing support to families during this transformative time.

Now, I feel ready to return to what I'm passionate about: empowering and guiding expectant parents through pregnancy, labor, and postpartum.

Allow me to reintroduce myself - I'm Tenáj. I've been a devoted wife to my high school sweetheart and a homeschooling mom to three incredible kids. But that's not all; I also wear many "hats," including being a Labor Doula and the proud owner of Pasadena Doula Associates.

Now, let's talk about how I found my calling as a doula. You see, even before officially becoming a doula, I had this natural knack for supporting friends and family during their births. It was in my blood, you could say. But my journey into doula work took a unique twist.

In 2012, I was pregnant with my third baby, and I was determined to make this birth different, to have it on my terms. I delved into documentaries, consumed stacks of books, and decided that this time, I was going to have the birth I envisioned.

But here's the twist - I didn't even know what a doula was at that point. I wasn't convinced I needed one, especially since I wasn't a rookie in the whole childbirth scene. So, I went through the birth of our baby girl "alone."

It was only after that experience that I realized I did need a doula, not because I couldn't give birth without one, but because I needed someone to support me on a deeper level. I needed someone who could help me focus on my goal of an unmedicated birth, guide me through the pain, and reassure me that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

But it wasn't just about me; my husband needed support too. He needed guidance on how to be more helpful and supportive during labor. And a doula could have been that bridge.

Then, a friend of mine, who was a budding doula at the time, suggested I become one too. I was hesitant, wondering who would want me as their doula and what I had to offer. But she reminded me of all the ways I had supported her during her pregnancy. She convinced me, and in 2015, I took my first Labor Doula training, and that's where my journey truly began.

Through my experiences with pregnancy and birth, my beliefs became rock solid. I discovered my strengths in this work - I'm calm in the storm, a steady presence, and skilled in physical pain management. But above all, I know how to help you find your strength, your voice, and your unique path.

Every woman deserves support, encouragement, and empowerment during this transformative time. They should have the opportunity to labor and give birth in a way that leaves them with positive feelings, no matter the path their journey takes.

This is not just my passion; it's the mission of Pasadena Doula Associates.

*This post was revised and updated September 2023. Originally posted 2018.

Today’s Top 5: Things to Say During Pregnancy, Birth, & Parenting

For a birthing woman, there is nothing like knowing your spouse or partner is IN this with you. The labor and birth process is an incredibly vulnerable and intimate time and space. Most often, up until the latter part of pregnancy, women aren’t focused on the actual birth. There is far too much preparation to take place to focus on something SO BIG.

But, right around 30 weeks, or so, this labor and birth process gets real. It is coming! We begin to question whether or not we can do this. Even if we’ve done it before, we can question our abilities this time.

“Can I do it this time? I want a natural unmedicated birth. Can I handle the pain?”, “I had a cesarean the last time, but want to try for a home birth. What if my body “doesn’t work”?”, or better yet, “I want the drugs! Give me the good stuff right away! Is that okay?”

Through this process, there is a relying on our partner that might be a bit too much for you to handle. At least, that’s what you think. But, let me give you the Top 5 things to say to your wife, mother of your child, lady that will give her the boost of confidence she needs when she’s having her internal, and sometimes external struggles with this birth that seems to be coming quickly.

I love you. I trust you.

You’ve got this.

I’m here. You’re safe.

Not only will these five statements take you through the end of pregnancy, they are PRICELESS GEMS during the labor process and into the parenting journey. If you want to be the hero, don’t try to save her from what is a natural process. Instead, comfort her with these few words and whatever other tools you happen to have in your toolkit.

You’ve got this! And if you need back-up, there’s ALWAYS a doula.